Cot to bed: why later is usually better
Your child is eighteen months old and you are wondering about a bed. The usual reason to move is a new baby needing the cot, and the usual outcome of moving early is a toddler who no longer stays anywhere at night.
3 min read
A cot works partly because it is a boundary that does not require cooperation. A bed replaces that with a decision, and toddlers under about three do not have the impulse control to make it reliably at eight in the evening.
Most sleep problems that follow an early move are not about the bed. They are about the fact that leaving it has become possible, and the household now has to negotiate something that was previously not up for discussion.
When to move
When they climb out. This is the real signal, because falling from a cot rail is a genuine injury risk. Lower the mattress fully first; if they still get out, it is time.
Around three, for most children. Between two and a half and three and a half is the usual range, and later is generally easier than earlier.
Not because of a birthday. Age on its own is not a reason. Plenty of children are happy in a cot past three.
Not right before a new baby arrives. If the cot is needed, move them six to eight weeks beforehand so the two changes are not connected in their mind.
Making the room safe first
A child who can leave their bed can reach everything in the room, and this needs doing before the first night rather than after the first incident. Furniture anchored to the wall, blind cords secured out of reach, plug sockets covered, nothing climbable near a window, and a stair gate on the door or the landing.
A bed guard on an open side, and consider starting with the mattress on the floor if falling is a concern.
A cot is a boundary that needs no cooperation. Trade it in only when you have to.
The first weeks
Expect them to get out. The response that works is dull and repetitive: walk them back, say the same short sentence, no conversation, no negotiation, no lifting into your bed. Twenty times on the first night is normal, and the number falls quickly if the response never varies.
Keep the routine identical to what it was in the cot, and keep bedtime at the same time. Adding a reward chart or a new ritual at the same moment gives them two new things to test.
The first fortnight of getting out
Expect it, plan the response, and make it identical every time. Walk them back, one short sentence - the same one - no conversation, no eye contact, no lifting into your bed. Then leave. Twenty repetitions on the first night is normal and it falls quickly if the response never varies.
What makes it drag on is inconsistency. A child returned silently nineteen times and then carried into the parental bed on the twentieth has learned exactly what the twentieth attempt is worth. Decide before bedtime what happens if it is still going at ten o’clock, so the decision is not made at ten o’clock.
What to do about the room
A child who can leave the bed can reach everything, and the room needs to be safe for an unsupervised toddler before the first night rather than after the first incident. Furniture anchored to the wall, blind cords secured out of reach, sockets covered, nothing climbable under a window.
Most families use a stair gate on the bedroom door or the landing, which means the worst outcome of getting out is being found asleep on the floor rather than at the top of the stairs. A bed guard on any open side, and starting with the mattress on the floor is a reasonable option if falling is a concern.
When to stop troubleshooting
Speak to your health visitor or GP if night waking becomes extreme and persistent, if there is snoring or pauses in breathing, or if your child seems frightened rather than testing. Sudden fear of the bedroom that does not settle is worth discussing.
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